Why Never to End a Talk with “Thank You” – and What To Do Instead

Do you know how most speakers, managers and committee chairs wrap up their presentations and meetings? “Thank you for listening.” “We’re out of time. That’s it for today,” or “If you have any questions, please let me know.”

Talk about leaving results on the table! From now on, instead of trailing off or ending with a passive close that doesn’t inspire followup, plant specific action seeds such as:

“What is one thing you’ll do differently when you get back to the office tomorrow?”

“What exactly are you going to say if potential clients object to our fee?”

“When you get home tonight, where will you post your reminder card?”

“What tangible results will you report back at our Monday morning meeting?”

“At our next break, at 2:30 . . .”

In fact, those four words “At our next break …” helped an entrepreneur named Marcia motivate a room full of investors to follow-up with her. Marcia was scheduled to give a funding pitch for her startup in the afternoon following lunch. She was worried audience members would be half asleep, so we crafted a sixty second close to make sure people were crystal clear how they could follow up with her. Here’s what she said:

“I’m Marcia, the one with the white, spiky hair … .

At our next break at 2:30, I’ll be at our table in the right-hand corner of the lobby.

If you’d like a product demonstration, a copy of our financial projections, or would like to meet our CTO to discuss our patented software; you’re welcome to come by.

Once again, I’m Marcia with the white, spiky hair. I look forward to seeing you at 2:30.”

Guess who was surrounded by people at the next break? You’re right, Marcia. Why? She was the only one who gave three specific ways and reasons to continue the conversation. She:

* Repeated her name in her close to imprint it. (Think about it. After a long day, how many speakers’ names can you recall? And if we don’t know someone’s name, we’re not likely to approach them.)

* Made a visual self-reference so she stood out in the crowd. (This is not trivial. How will people be able to pick you out in a sea of suits unless you give them a colorful clue such as, “I’m Bob, the one in the green jacket” or “I’m Patricia, in the red suit.”)

* Identified a specific time and location where people could connect with her. (Don’t be vague. Say, “I’ll be by the front desk from 3-4 pm.” Or “You’re welcome to call me during office hours on Monday between ten and noon.” Or “I’ll be back in Texas September 3rd and would be glad to schedule an in-person appointment.”

* Offered three incentives for continuing the conversation. (Far too many people trail off with a passive, “Please let me know if you have any questions.”)

By the way, do you notice a pattern in these suggestions? They offer people OPTIONS instead of giving them ORDERS.

Do you know anyone who likes to be ordered around? Telling people, “You need to” “You have to” or “You should” elicits a “Grr, you’re not the boss of me” reaction. Offering a variety of strategic choices gives people the freedom and autonomy to select a course of action that’s most appealing and relevant to them. They are a lot more likely to initiate action – because they want to, not because they’re being told to.

Pilot Chuck Yeager said, “At the moment of truth, there are either reasons or results.” What will you do at the end of your meeting to increase the likelihood people take action and produce beneficial results as a result of their time with you?

60 Inspiring Quotes from Women Leaders, Entrepreneurs and Founders

“Life may give you a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.” – Joyce Meyers

A prospective client sent me his power point deck for his upcoming presentation. He asked for my feedback and I shared my opinion that it would be more effective if he had a better balance of quotes. He asked, “What do you mean?”

I said, “Good for you for featuring intriguing quotes to illustrate your points.. The only thing is, they’re almost all from what my interns call ‘triple name dead white guys” like Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. They were wise men, but there are wise women you can quote who would add value and diversity.”

He said, “Sam, I looked, but I couldn’t find any great quotes on my topic.”

I told him I’ve been collecting profound quotes from women to feature in my upcoming book SOMEDAY is Not a Day in the Week, and promised to share them here. Hope you find them as intriguing and inspiring as I do.

Feel free to share this post with others – and use these quotes (with attribution to their originator) to get people’s eyebrows up. Read ’em and reap (and credit).

“Life is too short to live the same day twice.” – Jennifer Lopez

“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” – Connie Schultz

“You have to make mistakes to figure out who you aren’t.” – Anne Lamott

“One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.”- Malala Yousafzai

“When you learn, teach. When you get, give.” – Maya Angelou

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag

“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t done.” – Lucille Ball

“Dream long, plan short.” – Sheryl Sandberg

“The life you’ve led doesn’t need to be the only life you have.” – Anna Quindlen

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver

“You can’t give up! If you give up, you’re like everybody else.” – Chris Evert

“Stop wearing your wishbone where you backbone ought to be.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

“We are better than we think and not yet what we want to be.” – Nikki Giovanni

“We repeat what we don’t repair.” – Christine Langley-Obaugh

“Action is the antidote to despair.” – Joan Baez

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand

“You have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall

“When you can’t keep up; connect.” – Mary Loverde

“A surplus of effort can overcome a deficit of confidence.” – Sonia Sotomayor

“Perhaps we never really appreciate anything until it is challenged.” – Anne M. Lindbergh

“Love is within reach of every hand.” – Mother Teresa

“Our life is our lab.” – Sam Horn

“I choose to make the rest of my life the best of my life.” – Louise Hay

“The moment of change is the only poem.” – Adrienne Rich

“It’s the second act that has the happy ending.” – Lisa Alter Mark

“I firmly believe you never should spend your time being a former anything.” – Condoleezza Rice

“Be brave enough to be your true self.” – Queen Latifah

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinem

“When someone shows you who they are; believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou

“The next road is always ahead.” – Oprah Winfrey

“The world is not made up of atoms; it’s made up of stories.” – Muriel Rukeyser

“It is the ability to choose which makes us human.” – Madeleine L’Engle

“The best teachers show you where to look; they don’t tell you what to see.” – A. K. Trenfor

“She was twice blessed. She was happy. She knew it.” – Jan Struther

“We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our to-do list.”- Michelle Obama

“Fear is borning.” – Olympia Dukakis

“The cure for boredom is curiosity.” – Dorothy Parker

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.” – Belle in Beauty and the Beast

“Cherish forever what makes you unique, cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.” – Bette Midler

“I get nervous if I don’t get nervous. You just have to channel it into the show.” – Beyonce’

“The way we do anything is the way we do everything.” – Martha Beck

“I want to be a spy for hope.” – Katherine Patterson

“Mistakes are doorways to discovery.” – Sam Horn

“If you don’t like my book, write your own.” – Rita Mae Brown

“Every creative project needs a spine. What’s yours?” – Twyla Tharp

“Blessedness is within us all.” – Patti Smith

“Don’t tell it like it is. Tell it like you want it to be.” -Esther Hicks

“We must all make the choice between what is right and what is easy.” – J.K.Rowling

“All I know is my life is better when I assume people are doing their best.” – Brene Brown

“You become what you believe.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Joy is a net by which you catch souls.” – Mother Teresa

“People can’t jump on your bandwagon if it’s parked in the garage.” – Sam Horn

“I don’t think my story is over yet.” – Serena Williams

“If you can laugh at it. You can live with it.” – Erma Bomback

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself.” – Coco Chanel

“Anything is possible if you have the right people supporting you.” – Misty Copeland

“Growth isn’t pretty, but it can be beautiful.” – Sonia Choquette

“You carry the passport to your own happiness.” – Dianne von Furstenberg

“Keep your face to the sun and you cannot see the shadow.” – Helen Keller

“We were made for these times.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

“It’s not selfish to put yourself in your own story; it’s inspiring.” – Sam Horn

You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Shonda Rhimes

“It is a luxury to combine our passion with our contribution.” – Sheryl Sandberg

“If there were a rehab for curiosity; I’d be in it.” – Diane Sawyer

“I believe life loves the lover of it.” – Maya Angelou

“Don’t let them tame you.” – Isadora Duncan

“Go on. Do your work. Do it well. It is all you can do.” – Ursula LeGuin

“No one can figure out your worth but you.” – Pearl S. Buck

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron

“Let me listen to me, and not to them.” – Gertrude Stein

“Life expands or contracts in proportion to your courage.” – Anais Nin

“Knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks

“The most important things in life aren’t things.” – Ann Landers

“I no longer accept what I can’t change. I change what I can’t accept.” – Angela Davis

“Dreams in your head help no one.” – Sam Horn

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get less than you settled for.” – Maureen Dowd

“What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” – singer Colette

“Guard your good mood.” – Meryl Streep

“To do what you love and feel it matters; how can anything be more fun?” – Katherine Graham

“My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” – Esther Hicks

“It’s never too late – in fiction or in life – to revise.” – Nancy Thayer

“The present we’re constructing should look like the future we’re dreaming.” – Alice Walker

“Exhaustion is not a status symbol.” – Brene Brown

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“I’m not the next Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps. I’m the first Simone Biles.” – Simone Biles

The Creative’s Contract

"You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write." - Saul Bellow

I agree with Saul Bellow. THE biggest takeaway from 17 years of emceeig the Maui Writers Conferenc and connecting with some of the most inpsiring creatives on the planet - from Ron Howard to Carrie Fisher to Mitch Albom - was this: INK IT WHE YOU THINK IT.

Ideas that "occur" to us are often at their purest. If we don't write them down in the moment, they're out of sight, out of mind. Literally and figuratively.

I'll always remember walking a Maui beach with National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones who demonstrated how important is it to jot thoughts when they're hot.

Dewitt delivered a world class TEDx talk and was one of our keynoters at MWC. He and I were enjoying a walk/talk on Wailea Beach discussing the topic of intuition. What is it? Where does it come from? How can we leverage it and put it to good use?

Dewitt was doing something that puzzled me. We’d go about 100 yards and he'd stop, whip out a little notebook and pen from his pocket and write something down. We’d walk on and then he'd stop again and scribble something else down. I finally asked, “Dewitt, what are you doing?”

He said, “Sam, I used to get ideas and think, ‘That’d be an interesting topic for my next column,’ or ‘I should include that in my keynote,’ but then I’d get caught up in other things and forget all about it.

I realized I make my living from my mind and I was throwing away this golden material that was being gifted to me. No excuse. I promised myself I’d start writing down ideas the moment they occurred so I wouldn’t lose them. Now, it’s become a habit.”

How many times have you gotten an intuitive flash – a whisper of an idea – and then gone about your day and forgotten it?

If there’s anything I’ve learned in twenty years of writing and speaking about intrigue; it’s that this is how our most innovative insights occur. If you want to make the most of them, you mustcapture them in the moment. Why is this so important? Because epiphanies are in their purest form in their original form.

You don't have to understand where they come from; all you have to do is honor them.

The way to do that is to carry a notebook with you wherever you go and download the OTTER.AI app which provdes a free voice recorder and instant wirtten transcirption.

(Side note: My clients use Otter.ai to "write" their book when they wake up in the middle of night with an inspiration, and when the ideas are flowing out of their brain so fast their fingers can't keep up. It's a Godsend because it captures their voice and they don't have to wait for "spare time" to write, they "write" via Otter.ai right in the midst of their busy life.)

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Learn to watch that gleam of light which flashes across the mind from within." Don't just "watch" that gleam of light, RECORD IT OR WRITE IT DOWN. When your brain is on fire, capture those cerebral sparks so you can fan them later.

I call this, "Muse it or lose it."

Please understand, your life is your lab. When you experience something that gets your eyebrows up (a sure sign of intrigue); understand it will get other people's eyebrows up. If you want what you say to be more interesting; it is your job to notice what intrigues you.

When something "comes to your attention," it means it's out of the ordinary, it broke through your brain's screen. It's worth exploring this thread that is standing out of life's quilt. You may not know where this insight will fit into your work, just trust that it will.

Recoring your aha's and sharing them with others makes life even more meaningful and purposeful. Your observations, experieces and stories are no longer limited to you, they're out in the world adding value for others.

The only rule? If you're fortunate enough to be gifted with a revelation, it’s your responsibility to record it. If you don’t, the muse gets ticked. She thinks, "I'm giving you gold here and you don't appreciate it enough to to write it down? I'm outta here."

The good news? When you take time to record insights the second they occur, they'll be there waiting for you days, months later when you’re ready for them. You'll have captured those gleams of light from within and you'll be in a position to scale their impact - for good.

 From now on, keep the Creative’s Contract:

Make your life your lab.

Ink it when you think it.

Muse it so you don't lose it.

Jot thoughts when they're hot.

You'll never regret capturing and sharing what intrigues you; you'll only regret NOT doing it and losing the opportunity to make the world a more intriguing place for you and for others.

P.S. Want to work on your book in the midst of a supportive Writers Weekend? Click here.

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Sam Horn, CEO of the Intrigue Agency and TEDx speaker is on a mission to help people create quality projects that add value for all involved. Her books - POP!, IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Got Your Attention? - have been featured in NY Times, Forbes, and on NPR, and presented to Capital One, NASA, Cisco, ASAE, YPO and Boeing, Want to work with Sam or have her keynote your convention? Contact Cheri@intrigueAgency.com